I have been having lots of conversations recently about the impact that the Covid 19 lockdown is having on us as individuals. Though the effects are far reaching and varied, there are a few things that are coming up consistently both with friends and colleagues. One of those things is privacy, or rather the lack of it.

According to Human Givens theory we all have 9 emotional needs:

·         Security

·         Attention (to give and receive it)

·         Sense of autonomy and control

·         Emotional intimacy

·         Community

·         Privacy

·         Status

·         Competence and Achievement

·         Meaning and purpose

The research shows that if all our emotional needs are met then we will be psychologically healthy.

Privacy; the opportunity to reflect and consolidate our experience, is crucial to humans and it seems very hard to come by at the moment. For some, it has always been a challenge; just part of the norm of their busy daily routine. For others, now working in radically different ways to before, it’s a new an unwelcome additional difficulty! Some people I have spoken to don’t realise that it is this very lack of privacy that may be contributing to their feelings of anxiety and stress.

There are many factors that can contribute to a lack of privacy at this time:

·         A lack of recognition that privacy is a valid and important requirement for one’s mental health.

·         A busy household; working from home alongside a spouse, children and pets.

·         Lack of space; a makeshift desk on your dining table or in your bedroom.

·         No commute; No time to wind down, decompress and shift out of work-mode into home-mode.

·         Lack of time; working longer hours due to an increased workload or the lack of a clear “clocking off” time, for example, no reason to leave on time because you’ve got a train to catch.

·         The feeling that to ask others for some private time for yourself would be selfish or inconsiderate of your family.

·         Living with extraverts! Extraverts like to have company and conversation and though we all need privacy, introverts will feel the need even more keenly.

So how can you carve out some much needed “me time”? Though there are some general things that may help (listed below) it is really important that you find a way to prioritise privacy that works for you in your particular situation. So, here are some questions you can ask yourself to help you find a way…

1.       How much time would you like/could you create for yourself each day?

2.       If you had all the privacy you need, what exactly would that look like?

3.       Have you done anything already to try to get some privacy, if so what and how did it go?

4.       Who do you need to consult with on this?

5.       What obstacles or constraints might you come up against? (Within yourself and externally)

6.       What options do you have for getting some privacy?

7.       What else could you try?

8.       What will be your first step?

9.       When will you start?

10.   What do you need to put into place to make it happen?

It can help to write the answers down or if you have someone who can help, get them to ask you the questions.

Some general things that can help include:

·         Communicate your needs to those it affects. Help them to understand why it is important that you have some time to yourself. They may well realise that they could do with some too!

·         Find a compromise with your loved ones; make sure that if they are helping you to get your 30 minutes alone time, for example, that you return the favour!

·         Consider a ‘virtual commute’. For example, if you’d usually leave the office at 6pm for your 6:15 train, shut down at 6pm as usual. Then put on your headphones, get out your book or listen to the radio and spend 30 minutes doing what you’d usually be doing at that time.

·         If you can, create a separate working space to your living space. When you leave your ‘office’ imagine leaving the work day behind and start to think about your evening at home.  Do a few stretches and shake off the day! Then don’t go back to the office until the morning. If you don’t have a separate space, tidy all your office stuff away (or cover it with a sheet if that would be too time consuming!) so that you won’t see it when you’re living in the space in the evening.

·         Finish your day by writing a to–do list for the next day so that you can switch off from work mode.

·         To help you be more disciplined so that you can find the time for privacy, schedule your lunch and finish times in your calendar, and protect them!

By fulfilling your need for privacy you will looking after your mental health and wellbeing, important at any time but especially now given the unprecedented challenges we are all facing. Having time for yourself will ensure that you perform at your best, whether that is as an employee, a partner, a friend or a parent. And of course, it will also allow you to better enjoy the time you have with others without craving some privacy!